The Dark World Poster

Out of all the marvel characters, Chris Hemsworth’s Thor has to be my favorite. Don’t get me wrong, I love Iron Man, Iron Man 3 being the best of the films, and Captain America has a wonderful personality, but when it comes down to a demi-god with greasy golden locks and a bleeding heart, Thor takes the cake. I was pretty excited for Dark World to roll into theaters and for good reason too.

Thor: The Dark World is set two years after the original Thor and a year after the events of The Avengers happen. The movie begins with a prologue introduction that lays the ground down for our eventual antagonists: the  Dark Elves lead be Malekith the Accursed (the unrecognizable Christopher Eccleston) who were defeated by Odin’s father Bor. Eventually we see Thor thunder in to the battlefield to help his warrior friends regain one of the Nine Realms. After Thor, Sif, and company save the day, the Nine Realms are safe for the first time since before the events of the previous Thor film. But obviously not for long. While Thor (Chris Hemsworth) pines after Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), Jane is moping about on a lunch date with the adorable Chris O’Dowd, when Darcy interrupts to tell Jane some of the equipment is going crazy. So Jane wasn’t just moping around doing nothing at all, she did travel to London, England to continue her research on trying to find Thor again.

After Jane tracks down why the equipment goes crazy in an abandoned warehouse that seems to be defying gravity in certain areas, she gets sucked into another Realm. She ends up in the Realm that once hosted the Dark Elves and is still the home to the Power Stone Aether of the Infinity Gauntlet. But Aether isn’t so much of a stone but more of a mist, and the minute that Jane just so happens to stumble upon it, she absorbs it into her body. She then awakens on Earth back in the abandoned warehouse. The Aether protects its host by not only keeping anyone with malice thoughts from touching her, but also by not letting it rain on her? A weird fact to include in the film, but it evens out when we find out it’s raining on Earth just because Thor makes it happen once he shows up to whisk Jane away to Asgard. The rest of the film is trying to keep Jane safe from harms way and figuring out a way to remove this grand power from her body that could inevitably kill her. And harms way is Malketh, obviously.

Meet harms way.

So, some more fighting happens, there’s a decoy prisoner that helps create chaos on Agard, and Loki is eventually enlisted by his brother to help save not only Jane’s life, but also the entire Nine Realms. What’s wonderful about Thor: The Dark World is that you don’t have to worry about all the action happening on Asgard, because Director Alan Taylor and Writers Christopher Yost and Christopher Markus did a great job of including the characters from both Asgard and Earth in the film’s plot. Which is an important factor when your creating a Thor movie, because he’s a man of many Realms, unlike Tony Stark or Black Widow, heroes of one world, Earth.

Bad assery

The entire cast, main and side characters, return for Thor’s first sequel, and they all have a decent amount of screen time. Jane Foster, Odin, Loki, Frigga, Sif, Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun, Heimdall, Darcy Lewis, and Erik Slevig somehow create a wonderful cast of misfits and warriors that keep you entertained for just shy of two hours. Watching Thor’s mother Frigga (Rene Russo) kick some serious ass is awesome when you think about her being a royal. She knows how to fight, and I wish that there would have been more of her in both films. Hopkins’ Odin is even more thickheaded and personally unpleasant in this film than the previous, but that’s just his character.

Darcy has a new intern (Ian) who also isn’t getting paid, but that new relationship is a fun side story to watch develop. Kat Dennings is a gem, as always, and brings back the same spunk as before. And poor, poor Erik is trying his damnest to help save the world and not go completely mad after Loki got inside his head after the events of New York in 2012.

Look at the smug little trickster

And Loki steals the show. Almost anytime Loki is on screen his raw mischief steals the attention away from anyone else in the shot. We really get to see the brother relationship between Thor and Loki in this installment of Thor which just makes the film. Thanks to the gentleman Tom Hiddleston, there is a nice, sly dose of comedy in this action-packed superhero movie.

Thor: The Dark World is jammed pack with an amazing cast (with a mind blowing cameo), powerful fight scenes, beautiful special effects, and an entertaining script. I watched the film in 2D and enjoyed it thoroughly, to me, there is no reason to see the film in 3D and the film didn’t seem like there would be that much depth to it anyways. There are two credits scenes, one is in the middle for a build up for the Guardians of the Galaxy which the director was not happy about. Then there is one at the very end of the credits which will melt your heart.

There is a gratuitous shirtless scene  that was tossed in the movie just for the women who adore Chris Hemsworth, which I loved. Trust me, I’m not complaining, his acting is you know, good too. He is one with his hammer, and it’s like an extension of his arm. The movie does a great job of keeping you on the edge of your seat considering the usual formula of a superhero sequel. The Dark World is in all honesty better than the first film, and it’s great enough to watch over and over again. Which is what I plan on doing when the film is released on Blu-Ray.

We’re the Millers is now available for direct download and will be on DVD/Blu-Ray next week. Check out my review to see if it’s worth your time.

We’re the Millers (What did Jacki K watch? Day 29).

USA Network gave psychos a special gift on Sunday the 15th, and I’ll be damned if the giant hiatus (May 29th until now, and another hiatus until Jan 08th) wasn’t worth it, because Psych: The Musical was pure brilliance. The musical is a two hour spectacular that delivers laughs, just the right amount of song and dance, mystery, and a load of surprise guest stars. I cannot guarantee no spoilers, but I can try my hardest. Not to mention you can see all of my spoiler-y goodness while I live tweeted the show.

“The Musical” takes place before Juliet finds out that her boyfriend Shawn is a major liar liar pants on fire. They went about telling us this in a poor manner. But I suppose the writers thought the story was jammed-pack enough already to have to try and deal with that story line anyways. The two hour special is focused around finding an escaped mental patient that eventually is thought to have killed a stranger in the park. Shawn, Gus, Lassie, and Jules are accompanied by fellow mental patient, Yang. Yep, that’s right, the serial killer, hyper genius from season three and five makes a surprise cameo to help solve the missing person case which also happens to be kind of a cold case.

The first hour is more “musical” based, but that second hour is so full of surprises, that you hardly mind the lack of singing. We get to hear poppy, catchy songs accompanied by clever, sometimes hysterical choreography from Shawn, Lassie, Gus, Jules, Chief Vick, Corner Woody, and one special guest star I will not reveal.  But, of course Henry refuses to contribute.

For more awesome gifs go here –> http://blog.zap2it.com/frominsidethebox/2013/12/psych-the-musical-in-30-gifs-plus-the-best-lines.html

Buzz McNab tried a few times to join in on the singing, but Lassie was having none of that musical nonsense in his department. The writers have the cast break the fourth wall many times in this episode, probably by each main character, and since they were creating this goofy musical, it is much needed. It adds to the quirk of this ground-breaking episode. If you can actually believe it, Lassie and Shawn share a dance together which is reminiscent of the Tango. And Lassiter not only has the most wonderful, manly singing voice ever, but he does an Irish jig which is very, very familiar. Chief Vick ends up being carried around like the Queen Bee which is well deserved.

That’s messed up right?

There were puns, jokes, chemistry to be had while this amazing, melodic episode created warm fuzzy memories thanks to Director (creator, and co-writer) Steve Franks and Writer Evan Cohen. There are numerous tongue in cheek moments that make fun of other famous musicals. West Side Story, The Phantom of the Opera, and The Pirates of Penzance get either a visual aid or quick quip about themselves added into the script. And all of the songs are very familiar; specific chords and riffs sound an awful lot like either Belle’s opening song in The Beauty and the Beast or any other musical film.

You can spot the pineapple in the opening dance number, and you should probably look past the pitiful plot holes. The mystery and case surrounds an un-shelved play “The Ripper,” which was written by the escaped mental patient ‘Z.’ Back when the play nearly opened the first time, a horrible fire broke loose and killed an unfortunately placed critic that was going to kill the show before it even premiered. And then that condemned play house was apparently never touched again! Nobody ever tried to fix it or knock it down. The entire theater set for “The Ripper” was never even removed! And for what reason? So we can have our climatic scene in a charred playhouse? There are other plot holes a plenty in Psych: The Musical, but you can look past all of them thanks to the charming delivery of the cast. Small errors, like plot questions, can be over-looked upon the first watching, and one can just enjoy the ride.

Overall, this musical episode was not only put together splendidly, but was well deserved for the fans. My biggest complaint though? For a two hour spectacular, there were not enough snacks.

This is going to be all of us psychos until Jan 8th

In 2004 a legend was born, and that legend was a misogynistic, scotch-loving mustached anchorman of channel 4 KVWN, located in San Diego, which loosely translates into “a whale’s vagina.” In celebration of the return of the renowned character, I re-watched the original and fell in love with the character all over again. And I know I’m not alone when I say that 10 years was far too long to wait for a new installation of Adam McKay and Will Ferrell‘s story of a new steam from the 1970s. Below is a compliment of gifs that make up some of the most awesome moments of Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

Our journey begins with the hero of our story’s first words:

It’s Incredible really.

We then meet the rest of the Channel 4 news team:

Hello Channel 4 newsteam

There’s the man in the field Brian Fantana, a mathematical-moron who knows his way around a musk store department:

Only the sexiest of sexy sex panthers.

Sports nut Champ Kind, known for his catchphrase:

Whammy, yeah his catchphrase is “whammy.” He’s not all that lucky with the ladies. (Because he’s a closet gay)

And the most lovable weather man that there ever was, Brick Tamland:

“Brick, do you want to invite me to a party in your pants?”

Life is good for the KVWN news team, they rank as the number 1 news team 12 years in a row! And in no way is attending the same party for 12 years sad!

Cannonball!!!!

Soon, the news team’s very foundation is shaken because of an “old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War Era.”

“Diversity”

All of the men try feeble attempts at hitting on the new team member, Veronica Corningstone. Ron, being the only successful one:

“Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.”

And then of course, Ron woo’s his new found lady friend with some classic jazz flute:

Albeit, he’s a bit eccentric

They eventually make their way to pleasure town:

Probably the best sex scene for a PG-13 movie ever.

And they successfully date for a while, even though Ron announces to all of his friends who his new lady lover is:

Unfortunately, there were no gifs of their rendition of Afternoon Delight

But eventually, life falls for the very high Burgundy, after one simple act of littering. His beloved dog Baxter:

“You know I don’t speak Spanish!”

BUT THEN, A WILD JACK BLACK APPEARS:

This happens after the burrito is chucked onto Black’s face.

And Ron finds himself in:

Veronica steps in, and reads Ron’s news, while he’s, well incapacitated. And the Honeymoon phase is finally over:

“THEY’RE JUST TALKING IT OUT!’

It goes on for quite some time then.

Eventually, the boys get in the most epic battle San Diego has ever seen because of some smack talk about the new female anchor:

It gets pretty intense

Really, very intense

Which apparently:

Brick killed a guy!

Soon after, Corningstone finds out that that Ron will read anything that is put onto the prompter:

San Diego.

Thus using the PG-13′s one “Fuck.”

Ron’s life soon goes to shit:

“My sweet Brick!”

He lives like this for awhile, until his boss Ed Harken calls him to cover the news story of the summer, because Veronica had “suddenly disappeared. Fucking Public News.

Ron cleans himself up, and calls for his news team to assemble:

With a conch.

Turns out Corningstone was shoved into a BEAR PIT! The news team helps her out:

Furry Funniness ensues

AND:

THE DAY WAS SAVED!

THE DAY WAS SAVED!

And that, is the story of Ron Burgundy, summarized in gif formation. Bonus Brick gif about bears:

Also, he loves lamp. The most overused quote from the movie, which is why you do not get a gif of it.

Is the long awaited sequel to the comedy cult worth the wait? Yes. Is Anchorman 2 better than the first? Upon a first watching no, it’s a 2 hour film, and for a comedy, that pushes the standard limit of the audience’s full attention. Can the new film stand alone and eventually ascend cult classic status? Maybe, it’s still a bit early to tell.

One of the biggest fears an audience has when a studio finally comes about making a long awaited sequel, is getting the full cast to return, and thankfully, Paramount Pictures (the parent studio) got the whole gang back together. Leading stars Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, David Koechner, and Christina Applegate come back to play Burgundy, Brick, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, and the lovely Veronica Corningstone. Smaller roles make their return as well which (without spoilers) include barking Baxter and Fred Willard as Ed Harken. New-comers Meagan Good as Ron’s interracial lover and boss, along with James Marsden as an insufferable ass hole, and Kristen Wiig as Brick’s eventual wife who seems to be slightly off kilter as well, make a wonderful addition to the cast. There are loads of other guest appearances which will make you lose your mind when you see them. They are all perfectly framed and make sense, but I’m not going to tell you who they are, and I’ll ask you to steer clear of the IMDb website, because looking at the cast list would ruin the surprise.

There are also a reprisal of jokes, Baxter saves the day at some point, there’s an animal joke (instead of a bear fight, we get a shark attack), there’s loads of misogynistic jokes (one of which, as a female, I could not approve of, but the two guys I was with cracked up), and of course we get another fight scene. And this news team scuffle is by far the most climatic, amazing portion of the film.

Some of the gang was fairing much better than the other members.

The film’s formula is similar to the previous story line. Ron gets the gang back together after Veronica is promoted and Ron is fired by the legendary Mack Tannen (Harrison Ford) in New York City. Of course he has to travel back to the great city of San Diego to find his original news team because Ron was head-hunted to be a part of GNN (Global News Network, a spoof-off of CNN) hosted in New York City. The first news network to air news, 24/7 all the time, everyday, but of course, Ron and his laughable gang of misfits is getting the graveyard shift from 2 am-5 am. Ron gets into an argument with big man on campus Jack Lime (Marsden), and they end up making a bet on who will get the highest ratings, and of course, Jack has the prime time spot of 7 pm. Well thanks to this bet, Ron soon changes the face of television into what it is today. I won’t spoil everything for you though.

The formula continues with Ron rising back to the top, only to quickly crash and fall, to be left in the dust when a terrible accident happens, which was actually not of Ron’s doing. When Ron is at his lowest, his wife Veronica and young son Walter (about the age of 7 or 8) come back to nurse him back into a functional man while living in an old light house.

PERMS FOR EVERYONE! (I mean hey, it is almost the 80s.)

Well if you want to know more about how the legend continues at the end of the 70′s you’ll just have to got to the theaters and find out yourself! There are many, many times that the film will have you laughing your ass off, but I’m not sure if there are as many quotable lines as the original. Although, CinemaBlend.com seems to argue otherwise. I would prefer more oddball lines from Brick, and I wish that there would be a bit more Brian Fantana and Ed Harris, but alas, everything can’t be prefect. Ferrel and Adam McKay bring back just enough of the old jokes, while amping them up at the same time, and they add just enough new material to keep things interesting. There’s a lot to be said about the new Anchorman, and if your a fan of the original, you will probably enjoy watching the continuation of this nutty news team. But Beware, Anchorman 2 is no where near as good as the original.

Poster for Sexy Evil Genius

I was strolling about Netflix the other night, looking for something new and original (after watching the dreadful Paranormal Activity 4, don’t judge me, I wanted something horror related, & we all know how shitty Netflix’s Horror picks can be). I was rolling through the recently added section and saw an attention grabbing title: Sexy Evil Genius. I read the synopsis: four strangers realize they’re all ex’s of a conniving, certifiably insane, seductive woman who gathers them at a seedy bar in the deep of L.A. It’s categorized as an Indie comedy, drama, mystery film. And it undoubtedly hits every category incredibly well.

Sexy Evil Genuis  stars Katee Sackhoff as Nikki, the mysterious wildcard woman that always gets what she wants. When she calls her three biggest ex’s they drop what they’re doing and immediately show up at the requested bar. The first character we’re introduced to is her first boyfriend, her high school sweetheart, who had been so heartbroken when she dumped him he vomited on her blue platforms: Zachary Newman (played by Seth Green).

Next we meet Nikki’s significant other she seduced while both of them were in rehab for heroin. Miranda Prague (Michelle Trachtenberg) a bisexual woman, who happens to be the only ex who ever quit Nikki, which was “tougher than kicking smack.” It is also insinuated that Nikki was her first woman. Zach and Miranda get to know each other after they realize they’re waiting to see the same enthralling woman at 8:00 pm. As they converse about their own experiences with Nikki, time passes and they begin to wonder if Nikki is late and alright. Especially since Nikki called Miranda and told her how she was out of the  ”clink,” well, more of a mental hospital after she successfully claimed “insanity” for murdering her last boyfriend.

The jazzy black man, the bisexual woman, and seth green.

After 30 minutes pass, a dark, jazzy stranger joins the table, Marvin Coolidge (Harold Perrineau). He knows to join them because Nikki told him to look for “a goth babe and an uptight suit and tie.” Marvin eventually claims that they were all to meet up around 8:30, leading Miranda and Zach to realize Nikki did want them to meet before seeing her.

Soon after, they all receive the same text saying how Nikki is late due to traffic and they they will all get to meet her “next victim” soon. Marvin, apparently not knowing this woman’s all time favorite band, doesn’t understand that the text contains a lyric from the band “My Life With The Kill Thrill Cult.” Time passes and a thin blonde brings their tray of drinks over, along with a sprite and whiskey that weren’t ordered. The woman is greeted with confusion and smiles, it’s Nikki the heart breaker. Each ex is greeted differently. Marvin first with a full body hug, Nikki lightly sits on Miranda’s lap and they exchange kisses on the cheeks, and Zach gets a full mouth kiss. Soon enough they party is joined by another character, a suit, Nikki’s lawyer Bert Mayfiare (William Baldwin).

From there on out the film is a whirl-wind of trickery and deception. The ride is phenomenal, and I highly applaud this movie as a great source of symbolism and metaphors in regard to human growth and stagnance. It peers into every person’s deepest and darkest regrets when it comes to a past lover and it even examines the current mistakes one may foolish make for self preservation.

Sexy Evil Genius is one indie film that you could knock out during a lonely evening and feel as though your at the bar yourself.

Dead Before Dawn poster

There is a gem out there, a movie that is beyond quirky, fun, clever, and laced with satire, I mean, really it is a “B movie” with backbone and brilliance. It will have your attention from the very first clumsy clip of our pitiful protagonist, and it will not let go of you. This bright and shiny new film based on tired, dopey tropes is Dead Before Dawn and can thankfully be viewed on Netflix, which is where I just so happen to find it while perusing the horror genre. It’s a Canadian Indie film that didn’t get much traction here in the U.S. because if it did, you know for a fact, this bitch would had been watching the overused 3D tricks in theaters.  April Mullen directs the 90 minute 2012 film with a freshness that pays constant tribute to a tired genre and brings  Tim Doiron‘s goofy yet clever screenplay to life.

The Comedy-Horror takes place on what one must assume is a community college in Canada, and although the protagonists of the movie are nearing graduation, these kids seem like freshman or sophomores in age. Our lead is Casper Galloway (Devon Bostick), and I’m not sure how popular the name “Casper” is in Canada, but from my perspective, it’s a nod to the friendliest ghost we all know. Anyways, Casper is a clumsy, doodling boy who lives at home with his widowed mother, and is deathly afraid of his granddad’s “Occult Antique Store” because he kinda, sorta accidentally killed his father there. So, Casper has to watch this spooky antique store for an evening while his awesome cooky granddad, played by Christopher Lloyd, goes to an awards ceremony and receives a lifetime achievement award in the occult community? The movie ends up having a constant gag with a trophy throughout it, but hey an excuse to get the ball rolling for the film is good as any. It’s not like I was expecting a lot with this movie.

The Rag Tag group of nonbelievers: Dazzle, Becky, Seth, Casper (a smart believer, considering he’s the only one who prepares for the curse), Charlotte, Patrick, and Lucy

So, Casper decides to watch the shop for his granddad, and while he’s there his unattainable crush (Charlotte, played by that one girl from Superbad Martha MacIsaac) walks into the store as an apparent regular. She’s there with her best friend who happens to be a whorish cheerleader, Lucy (Brittany Allen), and who has no interest in the oddball hipster friend of Casper, Seth (Tim Doiron), who is desperately in love with her and mugs. Seth sells the crap out of mugs. After Charlotte and Lucy chit chat with Caspy for awhile, the rest of the gang arrives, including Seth, star football player and token black guy Dazzle (Brandon Jay McLaren), best chick friend Becky (April Mullen), and douchy bf of the unattainable Patrick (Kyle Schmid). Now that the rest of the important cast has arrived, we can get into the hilarious manner in which the zombie demons, aka zemons, arrive.

The store has a creepy skull urn that no one should “ever come within spitting distance of,” but of course it is out on display on the highest shelf.

Said creepy urn. I mean it has a damn human skull on it.

A beautiful Zemon

Even though Casper is told to never touch the urn, it becomes a topic of conversation with his friends and he wishes to impress Charlotte (above), and then he drops it all because she brushes his hand. As the urn shatters, Casper freaks the hell out and claims “We’re all cursed! Doomed!” And his friends take about 5 minutes to then ridicule him and said curse, and apparently, what ever the people whom broke the urn said as the last ash fell to the floor would then happen as the new curse. Because that’s how curses work right? Anyways, to make an already long story short, as they make fun of such a “silly” topic, they claim who ever makes direct eye contact with anyone after 10 pm that night (because midnight is too cliche) the person will commit suicide, come back to life as a Zemon and make their creators and other bystanders into fellow suicide committing zemons  by giving them hickies. BUT! You can totally make one of the zemons into your salve if you can seduce and french kiss them. Like I said, they discuss what the would be curse would be for about 5 minutes. It’s a wonderful 5 minutes though, and it turns out to be a hilarious curse.

GREAT SCOTT! (Also this is the 2nd time Lloyd has played a zombie, whoops, spoiler, he makes eye contact with everyone in the shop.)

Of course, the rest of the film contains shenanigans leading up to the rag-tag group fighting off the zemons and breaking the curse before dawn, which gives them 6 hours to fix what they so royally screwed up. Dead Before Dawn has loads of amazing atheistic and verbal jokes, and is one of the best Indie Horror movies I’ve seen in a long time. I was weary about watching the film, but the fact that Christopher Lloyd was in it really helped me push play because GREAT SCOTT! He’s fucking Doc man, and he even says it! He says “GREAT SCOTT” and I flipped my shit! It was amazeballs.

The first portion of the “realization of how badly we fucked up” scene

I don’t want to spoil too much else about Dead Before Dawn but I highly recommend checking it out. The Zemons look pretty convincing and they have one really great panorama shot of Casper and Becky seeing the now Zemon covered football field, because remember, they set the curse time for 10 pm. The editors also use cut-to’s and montage scenes exceptionally well, and really add the funny edge while paying tribute to the overused tropes. And of course, we have a humorous nod to different weaponry that can be spotted in numerous zombie films, but oddly enough, no use of a religious symbol, a wasted opportunity, which leads me to believe that these Zemons are only zombies, the story writer must have really wanted to contribute to the horror lexicon.

All the characters are well developed and although the acting is sub-par, you’ll love the collaboration on screen. Each character really brings an individual feel to the film and there would be an emptiness without them. Very seldom can you say that each character is a key player in a film. No talent goes to waste. You can tell the cast and crew had a great time filming and writing the movie and you’re going to have just as much fun watching it.  Be sure to listen to the end credits as well, they wrote their own songs that tie into the film, and they’re just as great and super catchy.

If you’re looking for a fun, comedy horror movie to knock some time out, I highly recommend Dead Before Dawn, and if you’ve seen it, please comment below and tell me what you thought! I’ve read other, high class reviews, and I believe that those reviewers, were not the target demographic. Anyways, if my rave review doesn’t convince you, check out the trailer below and you’ll get just a taste of the wonderment I was talking about.

I know the majority of the Internet has been in a complete hissy for the past few days, and every person is entitled to their own opinion, but I’m here to tell you why the series finale of How I Met Your Mother wasn’t as outrageously bad as everyone believes. And I’m writing this post and publishing it days later yes, but I wanted to be able to think about the show, think about the ending and really mull over what they did with it. Hopefully you will read all of this post before you post any hate comments at the bottom.

To begin,

I’ve been watching HIMYM since the very start, I was front row and center when creators and writers Carter Bays and Craig Thomas gave us what was seemingly our first bait and switch on September 19, 2005. I was a wee 15 year old, who was the perfect target demographic. I loved sitcoms, I was a teenager, and I was a girl (by the way, I’m still a female, just a woman now).  Since then, I’ve watched the show almost religiously, although when I went off to college in 2008 (right around the season 4-5 lull) I fell behind watching the show live, but don’t worry right around the end of season 6 I was caught up and watching live again. Also I’ve seen every episode of seasons 1-7 at least 4 times each, and season 8 twice. So I know my HIMYM, and I’m looking at the end of the series as a whole, not just one double-episode, not just the wedding weekend from hell that may seem possibly pointless now with the divorce of Barney and Robin, and especially not just the last 10 minutes of the show.

So reader, you may read on, knowing you are in good hands with a person who not only just “consumed” the show, but knows the story arc and can analyze the series and the show with in-depth knowledge of Ted, Robin, Lilly, Marshall, and Barney. And be aware, I’m not here to lecture you, yell at you, or even vent at the creators Bays and Thomas, I’m writing this post so that you may better understand what Bays and Thomas did, and how they didn’t end the show with just mindless entertainment, they ended the show with heart, soul, and bravery, delivering a series finale different from anything else on television, but something we should have seen coming a mile a way.

To the people complaining about how ALL THAT Character Development went out the door in the last episode,

I say NAY! to you, NAY! my good sir, and here is why. Barney grew so much in the last few seasons, he went from a womanizing misogynistic male who slept with one different woman each night of the week, to a man who radically changed so much that he was worthy of one of the most BAMFs on television. But then after three years Robin gave him an out, after the wedding weekend from hell, they called it quits. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? Actually I can. Have you ever heard the saying that people don’t really change? It takes something huge to change a person, and usually, sometimes a new significant other can maybe change you for a bit, but really what changes a person (and a character for that matter) is a new life or a sudden death. And Barney was never really going to change until he had a child of his own, which as we all know could not happen with Robin. Trust me, I was heartbroken when we found out that Barney and Robin got a divorce three years later, it was the last thing I tweeted about, but it was real.

The show has always prided itself on having story lines that dealt with real life scenarios. Of course there were the filler episodes, but the show always had heavier plots because HIMYM was about real life and a couple of young “kids” transitioning into adults. We saw it when Marshall’s dad suddenly died of a heart attack, when Robin found out she couldn’t get pregnant, and how even the best of people can end up cheating on someone they care about.  And what? You’re upset that Barney reverted back to his playboy ways after he couldn’t make it work with the woman he loved with all of his heart? Sometimes, even though you love someone SO much, but you want different things, or you’re at different parts of you’re life and no matter how hard you both work at it, you’re now unhappy, and you don’t see it getting better, you decide to end it. It happens, it’s real life, and it’s happen to me, but I’m not here to talk about me. I’m here to say that Barney reverting back and the marriage not working, is a representation of real life. What would you do after the person you cared about more than yourself no longer gave you what you needed? That you’ve both talked it out and it just makes sense to end things? I wasn’t happy about it either, but don’t you dare say all that character development went out the door, because it didn’t. Not really, because you’re not Barney, put yourself in his shoes, wouldn’t you react the same and go back to what you knew best? What didn’t hurt you? The only thing that would ever change Barney Stinson would be having a baby girl. And deep down, you know that, and you’re just angry that a show was real and that it didn’t tack on the happy ending for everyone because it was expected of them in a series finale.

You’re upset about the Mother dying?

Tough shit man. Yeah, another shitty thing to do by the writers, but guess what, it’s been coming since at least season 7 and if you didn’t realize in season 8 than you’re blind, but it’s forgivable. In all honesty they probably had it worked out since the first season. But do you remember that one episode, which I believe was in season 8 (I’ll update after I find it) where Ted told the kids that he would go back in time and spend that extra week or so with their mother even if her current boyfriend would beat the shit out of him?  At first you might of thought it was just some general romantic notion by the classically romantic Ted Mosby right? No, look at it now, look at it then! He wanted that extra week with her because she probably developed cancer and died in 2024. I did the math, the show started in 2030 (25 years in the future), Penny (the daughter) said it had been 6 years since their mother died, Ted and Tracey married in 2020, had been together for 7 years (since 2013) and were together for a total of 11 years. That means that Penny was 16 in 2030 and lost her mother at the age of 10, with her brother being what, 8 or 9? Now with all that maths set aside, what Bays and Thomas gave us (in part) was a love story. Actually numerous love stories, and with each love story there is tragedy. Let’s be accurate, if Tracey never became ill we would have had the prefect love story, Ted and Tracey were absolutely prefect for each other, that scene under the T.M. umbrella? It was beautiful, and the minute that monologue began I balled, both times, I’ve watched the double-episode series finale twice now.  And the two of them could have lived happily ever after into old age and Robin would have been a sad old dog lady, living in her same apartment (which is the one bit I found least plausible about the series finale) hopefully satisfied that she made it in her career and that she picked her career over love. Because that’s what Robin always did right? She wanted to travel the world and she got to.

Yes Cristin Milioti deserved more screen time and a happier ending, but that’s real life. People lose the love of their life’s because of terminal illness, and I myself know that it’s real, it’s not just some shitty writing ploy. Bays and Thomas tried to deliver a sitcom that held real life lessons with heartbreak and friendship. They delivered on their end, and I’m sorry that you’re taking that so poorly, that you’re not willing to accept that life has hardships and sometimes, when we’re lucky art will imitate life. Maybe someday you’ll realize what Bays and Thomas did, and how wonderful it really was, but maybe the only way you can see that is when you lose someone close to you, your best friend, your own parent, your loved one. And I hope to God, that it won’t happen to you, but everyone dies. Everyone is just a small bit of biology breathing in oxygen until our expiration date. I know it’s difficult to think about, and we don’t want our entertainment to force such terrible thoughts upon us while we look for an escape. But we still got a happy ending. The one everyone knew would happen, so I don’t understand if…..

You’re mad about Robin.

Do you feel cheated that all this time the show was called “How I Met Your Mother,” not “How I Wanted Your Permission to Ask Out Your Aunt Robin Who I’ve Been Pining for for Years”? Yeah I do too, but that latter title just isn’t catchy is it? But the whole story was about Robin. Remember at the beginning of this post, I stated the first bate and switch where we thought it was about meeting the mother, it was really about Aunt Robin? We should have known in the very beginning that this series finale would be like this. And you know what, it’s beautiful. Don’t tell me that Ted isn’t following the bro code with Barney now because Barney broke the bro code first. Don’t tell me you feel cheated, because if you didn’t realize this would happen after we got three episodes into the final season, without hardly seeing the mother, than you were blind. How I Met Your Mother wasn’t about just one silly love story. It was about life, for five very close friends, how they grew together, how they faltered with one another and grew apart. How I Met Your Mother gave us a real representation of life, of searching for “the one,” and some people get more than just one “the one.” Because why should Ted spend the rest of his life alone after the Mother died? But maybe your upset because……

We Never Saw Ted Mourn his Wife’s Death.

Speaking as a daughter who just lost her own father after a rapid declaration of brain cancer, life deterioration and death, who will never be walked down the aisle by her father, I can speak for Ted Mosby.  Why in the hell would he spend time on his wife’s death and his mourning period while telling his kids (who also went through her illness and death)  about their love story? Not only would it bring up terrible memories but it would detract from meaning of the story. Not to mention it would be totally out of character for Ted, who has always had a difficult time with accepting loss and failure (which could be seen when he found out about his parents divorce, losing Stella, and Marshall and Barney “employing” him after the GNB building failed the first time). Why would the writers spend time on that portion of the story? It’s incredibly difficult to live through it the first time, let alone repeat it to your own children who went through it once already. That’s bullocks! I didn’t expect them to spend time on that, seeing the Mother in the hospital bed was difficult enough for me. But maybe for you, you’re just too upset about how much….

How I Met Your Mother actually imitated real life.

If you haven’t caught on to why I think what HIMYM was pure brilliance I don’t know how else to beat it across your head. It had been 6 years since the Mother’s death, the kids were actually perfectly fine with Ted asking Robin out after all these years, and when you hold a flame that burned that brightly, and for that long for somebody, why is it wrong for him to let the flame come back to life and light the way out of darkness?

Bays and Thomas did something incredibly brave on March 31, 2014. They ended a sitcom, that for many of us, was like a best friend, they created something genuine and they ended with originality. Every time now, and in the future, that I watch the final 10 minutes of HIMYM, I will ball, and for a minute there, I’ll stop crying while Ted is talking to his kids, but the minute the song Heaven by The Walkman plays, and I see that blue horn, tears will be streaming down my face. Not because it was bad, not because I felt cheated or because the ride was ending, but because after all this time, when you think about everything that happened to Ted Evelyn Mosby, it’s just right for him to end up with Robin years later. I’m thankful for the ride I got to take with the cast and crew of How I Met Your Mother, it may have been a bit bumpy sometimes, but in the end Bays and Thomas delivered. It was beautiful, emotional, and incredibly brave of them to end a show with guts like that, and although they are getting major slack from the fans, this is one fan that can honestly say “I respect what you did, I understand why you did it, I think it was beautiful regardless of the heartbreak.”

Thank you so much for a decade of great television and giving me a reason to enjoy Mondays.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier  Poster

This previous Friday (April 04), Captain America burst into theaters for the third time portrayed by the handsome, do-good Chris Evans, for his second full-focused film Captain America: The Winter Solider. This is the third installment of the second phase of Marvel’s Avengers Initiative; its’ predecessors include Iron Man 3 (May, 2013) and Thor 2: The Dark World (November 2013). As Marvel’s first film of the new year (can you believe we’re already in April!?!) it delivers on every aspect of the superhero/action/adventure genre and will have you clutching your box of candy in some jaw-dropping, transcending scenes and action sequences. My Rasinets were inedible by the end of the film.

It’s incredibly hard for me to say this (because I’m such a Thor fangirl, and loved the latest Iron Man) but I feel as though these Marvel movies just keep getting better and better. And that is not a bad thing. The last two segments in the franchise were more than just wonderful, they were actually (for the lack of a better word) marvelous. Each sequel is better than its’ original and expands this wonderful superhero universe that Marvel began setting up with its’ first great casting choices when Iron Man first came out back in 2008, and Disney propelled to even greater casting standards in 2012′s The Avengers. You don’t think the next film could be as good as the last, but then it blows you out of the water with great writing, fight scenes, explosions, and performances that breathe life into the screen.

And the American public seems to love each installment more and more, because Mister Rogers seems to have broken some amazing records as of today (Tuesday the 8^th); The Winter Solider has made a mind-shattering $92 million dollars in its’ weekend debut and has officially made more than its’ original which only made $65 million in its’ opening weekend. It is being said that The Winter Solider is now officially part of the Cool Kids’ Club that consists of sequels that are considered better than their originals. The $92 million also sets a new record for the month of April, which was originally set by Fast Five with $86.2 million. At first I was unsure about the April release, but setting this film for the beginning of spring, had to be one hell of a smart move for the people behind the film.

Now that we’ve discussed this major box office success of the Cap, let’s get into the nitty-gritty of why Captain America: The Winter Solider is most certainly worth your ten bucks. (But don’t spend the extra cash on 3D, I did, just because the 2D sold out, and trust me, the 3D hardly brings any depth to the film, and you have like one grenade thrown at your face and the Cap’s shield is hurdled at you once, but that’s it. And honestly, many of the scenes that take place in an office building are a bit nauseating because of the 3D.)

Rogers to Fury: “They use to play music on these things you know”

There are really so many amazing things to talk about when reviewing this installment of the Marvel world but considering I’m already five paragraphs in, I’m going to make the rest of this as short and sweet as possible without any spoilers (while editing, I look back and realize that the former was most certainly a blatant lie). This could be an incredibly difficult feat to accomplish, so let me first say the most spoiler-y things about the film and then move on. To be honest though, they are not really spoilers? (That was said with an inflection at the end just so you know).

Featured here: The Adventurous times of the 90 year old virgin and a kick ass spy

First off, I have no idea why the film’s subtitle is The Winter Soldier because it’s hardly even about the Soviet super solider that’s been “changing” events throughout history for the past 50 years (at the urging of the subset Nazi crowd Hydra) who happens to have been Steve Roger’s Best Friend Forever Bucky Barnes played by a grunged-up, teenage-y-angsty Sebastian Stan. The Winter Soldier is sporadically seen throughout the film, and especially in the climatic fight in the end, and then featured in the closing resolution and post-credit scene, but I feel as though the film was titled wrong, because the movie was really about the friendship and team work building up between Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and Steve Rogers/Captain America. I mean honestly a more appropriate name for the movie would have been called: The Adventures of Rogers and Romanoff, or Romanoff and Rogers: Fight from Within, or or… Captain Widow: A Blossoming Friendship. Those would have all been more fitting names for the basis of the film, and that second one actually tells you a lot about the latter half of the film’s plot. Not that Marvel would have ever named a feature $170 Million budget film that.

But let it be known that the Black Widow/Hawkeye ship lives! Notice the necklace.

But some of the best chemistry comes between Johansson’s Natasha and Evans’ Rogers, and it’s so obviously not a romantic chemistry, and that’s something I think Directors Anthony Russo and Joe Russo should be applauded for. In today’s feature length films, it feels as though we keep moving farther and farther away from strong female leads who don’t need to be in a relationship in the film. And one of the great things about The Winter Soldier is that the Captain is learning how to be himself in a world that he never expected to be in. He missed out on so many opportunities by being frozen in that glacier, and one of those opportunities was to be with someone he loved and that lived in the same damn time frame of him. In the first movie, that possibility was Peggy Carter, but now, we have Natasha constantly badgering Steve about going out on dates, and trying to set him up. These moments are not only humorous but also very genuine, you see this friendship really blossom while the rest of the Avengers are away, and most importantly you see the Captain finally start to really trust someone, even if only a little. Because of the kinship that is assembling before our very eyes, we finally see Rogers become a leader of this film’s team (I’m not telling you the names of this team because, duh, spoilers). Rogers is finally getting the opportunity to take the lead and be a real “Captain” and you can’t help but realize it’s because of the comradery that is being built between him, Natasha, and Sam Wilson/Falcon.

Who! By the way is freaking awesome! I kept reading about how excited the Internet was over the introduction of ‘Falcon,’ the first African American superhero, but before the film I just didn’t get it. But now, with his cunningness, his respect for Rogers, his willingness to contribute to the team, and his awesome 12 foot plus machine wingspan, holy fuck. Honest to God, Anthony Mackie brings the retired military soldier Sam Wilson to life with astounding maneuverability and a great sense of humor. A fun excerpt from Entertainment Weekly’s April 11, 2014 issue #1306 “Behind the Shield” is about the social significance of Steve Rogers being so accepting of Sam. My favorite portion of the article was Mackie’s quote “In the 1930s and 40s, there were not relationships like Cap and the Falcon. So Chris and I always joke, Cap woke up and got a cell phone and a black friend.” As amazing as that quote is, that aspect of the friendship takes a back seat when you end up focusing on how amazeballs Mackie is with his wings.

Cap took out an entire elevator of baddies. It was stupendous.

While we’re on the subject of special effects and combat scenes, ALL OF THEM ARE SPLOOSH-TASTIC. (Sorry, Archer was on last night, and now my review is just riddled with Archer phrases.) The choreography is amazing, all of the fight scenes seem so incredibly real and fluid, and the first time you see Evans’ do this weird side flip kick thing, you will lose your shit. After each fight scene finishes, you think “that was the best one” and then a few minutes later, you scoop your jaw up off the floor again in astonishment. At one point, Rogers battles a giant hellicarrier with just his motorcycle to propel him on-top of it and his shield. AND HE TOTALLY WINS. I just don’t even have words for how awesome that is because “awesome” just doesn’t even begin to cover it. Maybe overwhelmingly remarkable? Even that doesn’t do it justice. (Haha, justice, didn’t even mean for that pun.)

The two hour and fifteen minute film just blows past you; not at all like its’ predecessor that did really well for the first hour and 30 minutes, but then faltered near the climax. Trust me, I loved Tommy Lee Jones’ Colonel Phillips, Dominic Cooper’s Howard Stark, Stanley Tucci’s Dr. Erskine and (of course) Hayley Atwell’s Peggy Carter, and that’s why it’s difficult for me to say that The Winter Soldier is by far the superior Captain America film. But once they were out of the picture, it was the same old classic Nazi junk that I’ve seen in every Indiana Jones-esque film ever (Which I know, was needed, although not original for today’s audience). But in this film we do get our Nick J. Fury (Samuel L. Jackson, watch out for a joke from a previous QT film he starred in near the end of the film) and my beloved Cobie Smulders as Agent Hill, so there is that for us who enjoy our side characters.

Overall, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, albeit mistitled, is a great next installment of the Marvel world, and if Marvel keeps up with their films getting better each time, I think we might be able to say, as of now, the Marvel Universe is kicking the DC Universe so hard in the nut sack that both Superman and Batman are vomiting blood simultaneously.

There’s many twist and turns along the away, and Writers Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely, and Ed Brubaker do a great job of delivering surprises (although some may think they’re predictable), fun dialogue, and a frightful idea about today’s “freedom.”

One mid credit scene and one post credit scene.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier: A Jaw-Dropping Experience.

Have any plans for this weekend yet? Have you seen The Winter Soldier yet? Well you should. Read my review and find out why.

Heathers’ Poster

In 1989 a  teenage comedy flopped in theaters. Years later, it was revived to cult status thanks to home video. It’s a dark teenage comedy that probably went over the heads of many adolescents, but it was brilliant nonetheless, the film is Michael Lehman‘s Heathers.  A satirical film based around the societal expectations and acceptances found in the lives of high schoolers in the 1980s, but what Heathers presented about the disturbing hierarchy of high school can still be applied to every generation since. Thanks to Heathers, teenage comedy/romance/drama films have become edgier and much more authentic, even if some of the main plots would never really happen, but the politics of high school life remain clear and horrifyingly real. So here I am, 25 years later, telling you how Heathers paved the way for the films we love today.

Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder) was once a wallflower with trusting friends; then events prior to the opening of Heathers, she becomes a part of a small Ohio town’s IT crowd: the Heathers. These three junior year Heathers run the school in a dictatorial manner with Veronica at their side, they use her giant IQ to write love letters to the school’s nerds in the handwriting of the town jocks as a service, obviously. I mean the note’ll give Martha “Dumptruck” shower-nozzle masturbation material for weeks. As we watch the complacent Veronica go through the motions of popularity as Dictator Heather Chandler’s right hand woman, a new dark figure roles into town, J.D. a psychotic bad boy who means business. But in the beginning, Veronica sees this dark horse as something different and more inviting than the typical jock of 1980s’ Ohio teenage boy. Their relationship is based off of the mutual hate they have for Veronica’s best friends, and as time goes on, Veronica’s teenage angst bullshit begins to have a body count. She accidentally kills her best friend/worst enemy (what’s the difference?) with the help of J.D. (Christian Slater). Things get out of hand, as they keep “accidentally” murdering their classmates  and cover it up as suicides, which then becomes the cool thing to do, and obviously has dire consequences.

Now that you know a bit more about the premise of Heathers I can divulge to you how certain scenes, characters, and lines helped contribute to a new kind of teenage film.

The Craft (1996)

Although disguised as a supernatural/horror movie, The Craft is truly about the outsiders becoming the all powerful tyrants of the schools’ pecking order. Although it’s been longer than a hot minute since I’ve watched The Craft, Heathers delivered the strong feminine leads that were then able to be transformed into the unpopular with power, shifting the focus of teenage politics to the rejected crowd.

The Virgin Suicides (1999)

When we talk about angsty teenage suicide movies, one film, by Sofia Coppola, rises to the top of anyone’s mind. The Virgin Suicides is a prime representation of 90s film dramas that focuses on the isolation of teenage life and the constant ignorance of self-involved parents that are so disconnected from their own children that the four sisters decide to take their lives into their own hands. The film is based around teenage themes that every adolescent stumbles through in their lives, and occasionally, Love, Sex, Death, Passion, Fear, and Obsession, get the better of them. The film tackles many things, but one thing that is evidently clear is that you should never trust the guy who takes your virginity, much like Veronica should have never trust J.D.

Jawbreaker (1999)

One of my favorite 90s teen films is most certainly Jawbreaker and it could even been seen as Heathers colorful, wicked sequel that took 10 years to make. Again, we are faced with the poplar crew and how the politics of high school seem to be the perfect setting for accidental deaths and eventual cover ups. No film could come close to the portrayal of blatant bitchiness and evil that is Jawbreaker. When compared to Heathers the filmmakers of Jawbreakers break all subtlety that originally went over the heads of viewers in the 80s, with crass humor and impetuous characters who really make you realize high school is hell, regardless of your status.

Sugar & Spice (2001)

Although I have not seen Sugar & Spice in the past 10 years, the plot remains crystal clear in my mind. A cheer leading squad follow their recently knocked-up captain into a life of crime and thievery to maintain a certain type of life style they have become accustom to. Nothing screams “Kids having kids,” quite like this film. And although I can’t think of a direct scene or character that sums up the similarities between Heathers and Sugar & Spice, one quote comes to mind. As the cheerleader Heather discovers her life is shit, she tries to commit suicide by swallowing pills, but before sweet sleep can be delivered, she struggles to open the “fucking child proof lock” lid that keep her from dying in a schools’ bathroom.

Saved! (2004)

Heaven, religion, and acceptance are reoccurring themes in Heathers with the town dealing with the funerals and “suicides,” and Saved! tackles the complex idea of virgin teenagers saving themselves for marriage because of God and how regardless of their “purity” they can still be wicked, sinful bitches. There would be no cataclysmic, evil Mandy Moore character without the clever writing styles of Heathers’ Daniel Waters. And if you’re looking for a satirical take on catholic schools and the deinve high school hierarchy, that isn’t as goofy as SuperStar, I highly recommend Saved!

Mean Girls (2004)

Ah, I’m sure you were waiting to see this 10 year old gem on this list, and I contemplated placing it last, but then I would have lost all chronological aspect to this list.  Let’s be real here though. Without 1989′s Heathers there would be no Mean Girls. Screenwriter Tina Fey took the thematic meaning behind the subtle Heathers and the blatant Jawbreaker and created a comedy that perfectly represented the safari-like life of high school for the milleniums. You know that pivotal scene in the gymnasium where Fey’s character is trying to get all the girls to talk about their emotions and junk? Well Heathers did it first in a cafeteria, and then made fun of the diabolical meaning and representation behind this “talk about our feelings” crap.  Heathers is like Mean Girls mentor, without it, we would have never been graced with the heinous Regina George.

The Babysitters (2007)

The Babysitters is a brilliantly dark drama about a high school baby sitter having an affair with one of her clients. She soon begins a call-girl business for the married men of her town and things spiral into an intense representation of how one man who seems mysterious and mature can create a living hell for the girl he manipulates into sleeping with him. This film takes the relationship between Veronica and J.D. in a different direction, and instead of turning Shirley (the lead) onto murder,  John Leguizamo‘s character teaches her about sex, another deadly sin that corrupts the lives of teenagers.

Easy A (2010)

Lastly on the list is Easy A which creates a world of lies, rumors, intrigue, and a high school smarty pants slutting it up. Without Heathers, we could have never gotten the quirky Emma Stone realizing what one wrong step and one white lie could severely damage her formerly decent teenage life. We have classic back-stabbing friends,  rumors, and ever present false illusion of adults actually knowing what their doing.

In conclusion,

If you enjoyed any of the above movies, and have yet to see Heathers a perfectly sly, wonderfully written, astoundingly executed, black comedy about high school life, you might have just eaten a brain tumor for breakfast. The film is a meta representation of teenage life for the mid-western teen trapped in suburbia life where creativity and originality go to die. In honor if its’ 25 year anniversary, and in honor of Mean Girls 10 year anniversary, check out Heathers and be blown away.

One of the most influential horror movies, Eyes Without a Face, delivers an eeriness with its’ plot that would be considered torture porn if remade/re-imagined for today’s audience. It is a 1960 French film (originally called Les Yeux Sans Visage) that focuses on the classic mad scientist bit, a man torn because he want’s his now inexplicably faceless daughter to have a face again. Docteur Génessier (Pierre Brasseur), with the help of his assistant, Lousie (Alida Valli), kidnaps countless women, all with the same physical appearance as his “missing/dead daughter ” (or so he would like the public to think): brown hair, blue eyes, and a defined, beautiful facial structure. The doctor performs these extreme plastic surgeries where he removes the face of the kidnapped woman and then transplant the face (quiet literally just the skin) onto his daughter.

Did I mention that it’s never explained upon why Christiane Génessier (Edith Scob) doesn’t have a face? Oh I did? Seriously, I would like to know what the fuck happened to her original face, if anyone reads this, and actually knows, please for the love of all that is sane,  tell me why. Not sure if I had missed the explanation because I, being American, had to read the English subtitles and something just went over my head or it was lost in translation. 

Anyways, the actors in the film all do a wonderful job, and the ending of the film is hauntingly beautiful and horrific. On the list that I have compiled for my 100ish Days of Summer it clocks in at number 94, and with good reason. This movie paved the way for classic horror movies, that may not be featured on this list, but would be featured on my own personal top 100 list. The two most important elements of  Georges Franju‘s Eyes Without a Face are by far the musical composition and the mask that cover’s Christiane’s frightening exterior of what is really, a girl misguided by a father whom was tolled by grief. Wouldn’t any loving father do anything to make his daughter stop crying?

Eyes Without a Face is certified fresh with 98% and an 88% for users, it went on to inspire pop icon Billy Idol’s Eyes Without a Face. The film can be found on torrent sites but is also on Hulu? So says my internet search. If your big on horror, this is one film every scream queen should get around to watching.

I am just as boring as this poster depicts. It is not false advertising.

Damn if this movie wasn’t misleading, The Conversation (1974) starring Gene Hackman as the lead, Harry Caul, and (hardly in it, Harrison Ford) is a Drama, Mystery, Thriller based around a secret surveillance expert (Hackman) and his recorded conversation of a couple he was spying on in the park for a very secretive client. 

The movie is slow-paced, had forced love interests in it (because really, even in the 70s, was Hackman considered a sex symbol? How much suspension of disbelief is expected of me for this film?), and probably only did well in theaters and with critics because it was the 70s. You know, that time in American history where no one, especially the government could be trusted? We had that whole Soviet Espionage thing happening, and every person everywhere thought they were being spied on, or phone tapped, or that a sleeper agent could “wake” at any moment.

The movie hardly held my interest and was far too long, dragging on for 113 minutes, and was directed by “all star” Francis Ford Coppola, regardless of the director and 3 Academy Award Nominations, the film doesn’t hold up for this new generation of movie goers. What was frightening, and psychologically tormenting about this film doesn’t translate for us today. It was placed on my list as #93 but doesn’t deserve it. 

The Conversation  has a rating of 98% by critics and a shocking 90% by the typical audience. Do not attempt to watch this movie unless you were born after the year of 1980. Even that is pushing it.

Roman Polanski‘s 1965 Repulsion is one of the highest rated horror films of all time, the only other horror film on my list of 100ish days of Summer are Eyes Without A Face, Aliens, Let the Right One In, Jaws, The Exorcist, Psycho, and depending on who you ask, also Vertigo and Rear Window. Although I must disagree, even as a seasoned movie watcher, from classics to b-rated movies, I appreciate all decent forms of cinematic-art, and I went in with pretty high hopes for Repulsion. I actually had downloaded it months before I decided to do this blogathon, and just hadn’t gotten around to it.

But the film is slow-paced for today’s audience and it relies on jumps far too much to even try to hold your attention between jumps. And you don’t become invested at all with ANY of the characters. And please, don’t think that I’m not a fan of Roman Polanski, because that would be a lie, I truly enjoyed Chinatown and his second installment of his “Horrors of living in an Apartment” trilogy: Rosemary’s Baby, but I also read the novel before hand. But there is just a huge disconnect to what must have been in his head, what main actress Catherine Deneuve was trying to portray, and how it aged over the years, because this film is a dud for this buff. The only part of the movie that held any sort of my interest was when a co-worker found a human heart in Carol’s (Deneuve) purse. And then did nothing about it. 

The movie relies heavily on music, symbolism, hallucinations, and movement, with hardly any dialogue, it expects you to jump to conclusions about the characters and the plot because the acting is terrible. I know Carol is suppose to be aloof and broken, which eventually leads to her *spoiler alert* murdering spree, but I think Catherine just doesn’t deliver. As simple was watching a woman stare blankly all the time.

“Symbolism”

Repulsion did nothing for me or my movie resume, aside from the fact that it is the first film to every present a woman having an orgasm, even if it was only audibly. Oh and that it, you know, represents what a woman becomes after being sexually abused, so it does have that going for it. Skip this one over and watch Rosemary’s Baby or even This is the End if you want a horror movie based around men tormenting somebody in someone’s home, because Hell, at least then, we have the Devil as a plausible explanation.

Whoa, whoops, so as I was doing my typical Google search to pull up my typical hyperlinks for my reviews, I might have realized I watched the wrong Manchurian Candidate. I had not double checked my list, but recalled that The Manchurian Candidate was on my list and I found it on Netflix, little did I realize that I was suppose to watch the original 1962 film, which is not on Netflix. So this review will be for the 2004 film starring Denzel Washington & Liev Schreiber which is not in the top 100 list and ranks with an 81% on Rotten tomatoes instead of a 98% which the original scored. 

The drama, thriller, mystery focuses on soldiers kidnapped and brainwashed during the Gulf War. The scary bit about it though, is that the poor soldiers are brainwashed by American scientists in order to help ‘suade the nation into believing that   Raymond Shaw (Schreiber) is the perfect candidate for the next Vice President of the United States. The plan actually works as well.

The movie is well-acted, a bit hard to follow (which was the purpose), and interesting to watch. Overall, it is a great film to watch for any history buff or conspiracy enthusiasts.  I don’t believe it should be on a top 100 list, but perhaps the original should be.

Poster

Skipping around a bit here, and writing reviews for film’s I have already seen, since I have fallen so far behind in my 100ish Days of Summer. Number 90 on my list is the 1967 coming of age film The Graduate starring Dustin Hoffman, who, the lucky dog, has already appeared on this list two other times, once for All The President’s Men and another time for Rain Mann, and I am sure he will be appearing again later.

I watched The Graduate for the first time at what might have been the perfect age to see the film, I believe I was a Junior in college and well on my way of not knowing what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. A seemingly silly, but difficult impasse that every college student faces, the same as Dustin Hoffman‘s character Ben Braddock, a recent college graduate, home for the summer. Bored and complacent, and lacking a sense of direction, Ben begins to “accidentally” have an affair with his soon to be girlfriend’s mother, the elusive Mrs. Robinson (notice the “Mrs.” she is married at this time). Although the film has no real driving plot and the characters themselves seem listless and underwritten, the film has been selected for preservation because of its “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significance.”  Some people may believe that this film should be watched by everyone at least once, but at the age of this twenty-something-year old, it is a bit lost on me. Maybe with more age, I would appreciate why this film is considered one of the greats, but as a product of the 90s and the new millennium, the time, acting, and writing, is mostly lost on me. 

It was by no means enjoyable to watch, but I appreciated what the 106 minute film set out to do and why it is considered great, but the only the thing I really took away from The Graduate was the amazing Simon and Garfunkle song that is still popular today, and that ending scene. I suppose, that currently, in my eyes, Dustin Hoffman is 1 for 3 in films on the top 100 list and whether the films deserves the spot.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is this summers block buster film that isn’t a superhero movie, but you may know the film’s better title: Rise of the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, or even Dawn of the Rise of the War of the Planet of the Apes. I’m just kidding, those are just a few of the names that I’ve been calling Matt Reeves‘ installment of the sci-fi franchise that started back in the 60s. After many stumbles of the tongue and just saying; “Well, the writers don’t really give two shits about the lineage of the franchise, so I’m done remembering what  intransitive verb the writers are using for each Apes film” and I just call them That One Apes Film. It seems to suffice. 

So far, the film has ranked number 1 at the box office for its’ first two weekends, and with good reason too. Although a bit lengthy, the 130 minute long sci-fi delivers on all expected spectrums with great triumph. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes takes on the difficult task of splitting screen time not only equally between the humans and the apes, but also doing so well. 10 years ago, could we have almost an entire movie based between apes that communicate only though sign language? Maybe, but would the general public grasp at a science-fiction movie with such thirsty eyes? Probably not, at least not without Andy Serkis‘ amazing portrayal of  the apes leader, and over-all Einstein: Cesar. But let us not forget that much of that credit goes to the motion-capture and special effects teams that work so hard to tie his performances to the screen character. All of the apes/monkeys/orangutans/etc. do not speak yet in this second installment of the re-imagined franchise based in the future, but they are all portrayed with great detail and a giant range of emotion which can unsettle the human viewer. It really digs deep into the human consciousness and reminds you that animals have feelings too and makes you think twice about scientific advancement.

This One Ape Film is a summer block bluster that delivers action, war, surprise, and intrigue while not just being mind-numbing entertainment. It’s a blockbuster that makes the viewer think about the consequences our scientific advancement can create AND remind us of heavy-handed prejudices, a hatred that is exposed and juxtapositioned between both the humans and the apes. Which is what eventually leads us to our own, already realized desolation. And that overall chilly feeling of lost, it is delivered in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, but G-D it if these intransitive verbs have finally gotten out of hand. Because the film doesn’t deliver us to the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, it takes us to steps (or movies, or installations) before that! We do not get the war that we were promised, only the misunderstanding between the apes and the humans that leads to the eventual near extinction of the humans. So I guess it was more of a battle than a war? Which is, as well all know the next expected installment of the franchise, but they might go changing that too.

This seems pretty accurate, thanks 9GAG

But if I may be so inclined I would like to present to you, what the titles should have been for this re-imaging. With intransitive verbs that actually make sense. Possible spoilers ahead?

2011’s Rise of the Planet of the Apes- Depicts how the apes eventual leader is created and a huge portion of the human population is wiped out with the Simian Flu. Should have been titled – The Beginning of the Planet of the Apes—because the writers don’t care about the length of the name anyways.

2014’s Dawn of the Planet of the Apes- After the desolation of the human race, we have the apes growing stronger and populating faster, they out number the unknown number of survivors of the Simian Flu who have retreated to the center of cities. After a misunderstanding between one hateful ape and the rest of the not-so-hateful apes, a battle begins and ends in the human’s sanctuary: San Francisco. When Cesar learns that an army enforcement is on it’s way and it is too late to explain what had happened; he tells the remaining humans to leave and find refuge somewhere else. This suggests the next installment will concentrate on the war between the leftover humans and the apes. Ironically—Rise of the Planet of the Apes would be a much better suited name for this installment.

2016’s War for the Planet of the Apes- supposedly focuses on the military/army fighting against the apes, and we all know the apes will win— Oddly enough, can still be named War for the Planet of the Apes

20xx’s Name yet to be disclosed- Although the plot and title of the film has yet to be revealed, but if 20th Century Fox continues on the path of sucking the franchise dry, then we can expect one more film before the actual Planet of the Apes and I believe that this film will focus on the human race crumbling and becoming the eventual slaves of the apes, and the apes building their civilization. And this fill should be called — Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. 

20xx’s Planet of the Apes which will be the remake/re-imaging of the 1968 original film for today’s audience and it would obviously be called Plant of the Apes. 

And that folks, is why you should never let dumb dumb title the films of a franchise they know nothing about apparently. But that’s just me.  Do you have any suggestions on what the films should be titled? Let’s hear em below, because I’m dying to know!

Mud (2012) is a coming of age story starring Matthew McConaughey as a hobo? There was a specific word along the lines of hobo, tramp, or bum that title character Mud did not like to be called, I think it was “bum.” But Mud wasn’t a real bum, he was just camping out in a boat in a tree hiding from the group of people that wanted to kill him because he killed one of them. The plot sounds awfully silly for a coming of age story, but the real plot is driven by a young 14 year old country boy, Ellis(Tye Sheridan), whose trust in Mud is concerning, to the point where his buddy Neckbone (Jacob Lofland) even realizes it. 

The movie in lengthy for a coming of age film, whopping in at a total of 130 minutes, but delivers its’ central theme with a balance of grace and unforgiving bluntness. What writer and director Jeff Nichols really wants the audience to come away with, is how toxic and repetitively abusive a dysfunctional relationship can be for a man wrapped up in the entanglements of a woman with loads of baggage and a tendency to date around. He spins this beautiful web of deception making us, and the young boy Ellis, believe that Mud and his on-again-off-again girlfriend  Juniper (Reese Witherspoon) are meant to be with each other because their each others “true loves” and they should be together, gosh darn it! But this is a coming of age movie, not a romance movie, and as Ellis looks up to Mud more and more each day, we slowly begin to see that the relationship is noxious and harmful to Mud. That his life would be so much better if he never fell in love with her when he was Ellis’ age (who happens to fall for an older girl who only give him attention when her friends are gone), and he would have had a better chance at being happy and accomplishing something with his life. 

The end of the film is bittersweet. Mud finally realizes that he needs to move on and begin his life anew, but when Ellis is forced to move to town with his mother after his parent’s divorce, he looks longingly at another older girl that lives in the complex; showing that he’s moved on from the last girl, but still longs for something that is unattainable, just like Mud and his multiple decade long affair with a dangerous woman.

Does Mud need to be watched by everyone? No, maybe just the men out there who think they can never be single. Does the film deserve to be on the top 100 critically praised list? Not really, but it would be your choice to watch the film after this review, now wouldn’t it?

A very creative Poster. I approve.

Okay, so I wasn’t the biggest fan of 2013’s The Purge, it had the potential to be great and turned into just another home invasion horror flick. I think I recall stating how awesome the opening and closing credits were as well, claiming that the credits had more potential than the entire plotted script.

What is really interesting about this soon to be franchise, is that they have the opportunity to bring in new actors, writers, directors, and editors to give the audience what it really wants. It is almost the new-age Jason or Mike Myers franchise, the threat and location remains the same, but everything else can change film to film. And that’s why these types of movies can get so many sequels; they are loved for years to follow because of the threat. Because of Jason or Michael, because of the silly; oddball ways they find to kill the teenagers on screen.

When the original purge first came out, I refused to see it, telling myself in the weeks prior to the release I would not, could not see it. The idea behind America’s humanity devolving into murdering neanderthals frightened me on a different level than a typical horror film. It taps into your inner thoughts and subconscious; would the public really participate in such a “utopia” and take out all of their anger and aggression one night a year, without consequences? It’s a scary concept. At least it should have been. I decided to see the film anyways, and was completely disappointed to see Writer/Director James DeMonaco take that horrific concept and make it into something we’ve all seen a hundred times. 

So I went to the theaters hoping that “Hey, the commercials and trailers actually make it seem like they are going to take the better concept of all Hell breaking lose and showing us different stories happening during the purge.” And well, I wasn’t technically wrong, but again, they only concentrated on one city and what all happened within its’ limits. The Purge: Anarchy wasn’t great by any means, but it was better than it’s predecessor in getting closer to what is really frightening behind the purge. Hell, they even gave it a nice little twist about *semi-spoiler* the government *end semi-spoiler* that makes the message of the film much more scary. But alas, they eventually brought the different story lines together, and they didn’t do it badly, but they could have made the film so much more fun if they incorporated a different type of editing style. Imagine the three separate story lines coming together on the screen at once, but with three different shots of footage? Using screen splitting (as the legendary Quentin Tarantino has done in the past) would have made the ride that much more fun. And horror movies are all about being scared and having fun! Instead, they just use the old point and shoot technique for the film. The acting in the film was actually great (special shout out to new comer Zoë Soul, she was brilliant), and it is such a waste to see the movie lie lifelessly on the cutting room floor because of the lazy Director/writer James DeMonaco coming back for a second shot at the purge. 

The biggest disappointment of Anarchy is that it quite literally, is not anarchy; it is actually more boring than frightening and you sit there and think that the latest Indiana Jones action film had more anarchy than a damn film with the word in the title of it. The killers/kidnappers we see in the movie are more strategic than the aging Jones himself, and the word “anarchy” is defined as confusion and disorder. It also means a state of society without government or law, which technically, purge night has, but again, *spoilers* it kind of doesn’t. As in there is… fuck it, I’m just gonna say it, the government is out there shooting up the poor to control the population because America isn’t killing enough on purge night. Now as fucked up as that is, it technically is still planned and (excuse me for the lack of a better pun) executed. That is not chaos, if anything it is method and order, but I suppose if they named the movie The Purge: Order or Method it would have given away the one really disturbing aspect the film actually portrayed decently. *End spoilers.*

The film’s budget is estimated at $9,000,000 and has already made $29,816,675 in its opening weekend. Safe to say, they will continue pumping out Purge movies, and hopefully the next one will explore more than one home or one city, and follow numerous stories. If anything, maybe the idea behind the purge would do better as a mini series, that way they can explore all the havoc in a season, and binge watching would be best, so really, maybe Netflix should pick up the rights to it.

Also, there might be a small chance that they actually had linear thoughts when writing the previous movies; what if they began on a small scale (the home), went a bit bigger (the city) and already plan on moving statewide or country wide for the next installment? If that is the case, I would love to eventually see a political prequel that tells us how we got to the new “Founding Fathers’ way.”

I will continue to hold out hope on a better Purge movie, the one that we are all craving for, but until then maybe I would wait for DVD release while the movies are helmed by the unimaginative DeMonaco.